We were meant to battle
Whether in our minds or bodies
Young or old
We were meant to battle
Peace is an afterthought
Young,
We were led to weed out the weak
We fought, we fight
We pretend to fight
And as we grow we find
We were meant to battle
We run, we jump
We are told how high
We strike, we shoot, we cheer them on
Peace is a possibility
Aged
We still kill, we charge, we stab
We were meant to battle
And if we were left behind
If we were the cowards
We fight for ways to feel better
There is conflict in our choices
As we throw our spears forward
Fate still directs them
We were meant for battle
Old
We justify our choices
Of the ways we fought
Find your path
Where the battle plans lead
To which field we will haunt
We were meant for battle
So far I have fought in one tournament and took home two first place trophies. This weekend I have another tournament. The week after that is my first mud run, and the weekend after that is my first Spartan race of the year, the Super 10K. It’s going to be a busy month dear reader. I wanted to write a preface to the coming battles so when they are done I can reflect.
My battles will continue. I’ve already signed up and prepared for 4 more tournaments this year. I want to try out for CG games again, that will be at least one event and if I qualify, that will add another. My therapist and I have agreed to meet only “as needed” so at least that’s one battle won. After next week I will be half way done with my races for the year, at least the ones I’ve signed up for.
Life sometimes gets in the way of my routine. I’ve missed a few workouts, either because of the weather or I lose time doing something else. In the coming weeks my routine will continue to be disrupted, plans and events will inevitably get in the way. It’s easy to lose sight of your goals when they are so far away, but sometimes rest is needed and getting back on track isn’t always hard, it’s just a matter of recentering and finding the way again.
My physical battles continue, everyday, and so do the mental battles, all day. But other battles are being fought all around the world, but especially in Europe now. I struggle at workouts and the quiet times when I’m stuck in my thoughts. It’s easy to sit in my 2 story house with heating and A/C feeling sorry for myself, but then I watch the news and hear of children dying and homes destroyed. An actual war really puts perspective on your life. I run and jump and lift weights and pretend to fight with blunt swords. On the other side of the world people are running and jumping for their lives, firing devastating weapons at each other, and when the cities are invaded, winning in hand to hand combat won’t get you a trophy, losing one won’t either.
Fighting is what we know, unfortunately, all through history and all over the world. Even the people who know nothing of guns are engaged in a battle. Even in this country, homes and lives are being destroyed by fires and floods, drought and loss. Families run and jump and swim looking for a better life. Children are left orphaned by a disease some people don’t even believe in.
So often we are stressed by our everyday lives; work and school and traffic and kids and bank accounts and what to make for dinner. Then there are people who can’t work, can’t feed their kids, live in tents and sleep on concrete. Or those who’ve lost everything are burned by explosions and have holes from gunshot wounds.
For some reason, recently, lights appear dimmer. I’ve found myself looking around to see if there is a bulb out, both at work and at home. It’s like there is some cloud hanging over everything. Things are quieter too, not like my ears are muffled, but like the part in my brain that registers noise is turned down. Stress has a different tone, softer, muted. “Such as a watch makes when enveloped in cotton.” I don’t know how to explain it. The shadow of the Beast looms over my battles but now it feels it is losing. It comes to me in places never before, desperate in its attacks.
Pick your battles, dear reader. Take account in your War Journal which ones are worth fighting. When a boss or coworker gets under your skin, or morning traffic seems worse than usual, remember there is someone who would trade places with you faster than a gunshot.
Like my ex-mother-in-law always says: “Peor es la Guerra,” War is Worse.